There are many times I have not understood God… many times I have felt His Words were contradictory.
Over the last three years I have been in a spiritual battle within my family. I have felt the attack in every area of my life; from my marriage, to my children, to my finances, to my very life on this earth…. Some days, I am just very exhausted.
Oh, there have been many, many victories!! God’s hands have literally carried us through each and every day. It is amazing to look back through my journals and remember all that He has done… I am overwhelmed!
But there are still times when I do not understand Him…
(see below to read the rest of the story)
Today I am honored to be guest posting for a dear, sweet friend I have met through this amazing world called “blogging”! (Thanks so much Rachel!!!)
Rachel Turner is a true inspiration of encouragement and strength as she looks to God each day to help carry her through this journey of life. She is currently being treated for stage 4 indolent b-cell follicular lymphoma in the kidney and skin, but she does not let it hold her back from enjoying each and every beautiful moment. She blogs about her walk with cancer along with many other topics including the “Blessings in Disguise” that she finds along the way!
Click HERE to read the rest of my blog post and while you are there, I encourage you to read about Rachel and get to know the incredible woman that she is!
Thanks again, Rachel!!
May you find the beauty in today,
Tara ♥
“He has made everything beautiful in its time” (Ecclesiastes 3:11)
~ Leave me a comment, I would love to read YOUR thoughts~♥
~Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heal that has crushed it.~ (Mark Twain)
I.Am.Sorry….
There. I said it. It is out in the open for the whole world to read. Three little words that I hope will have a profound impact. I am very flawed; I am very human. I make mistakes… many of them. I have good intentions, but I get sidetracked. I say things I shouldn’t. I have hurt people… even unintentionally. I have let people down… especially those closest to me. I will never live up to the expectations that everyone puts on me or that I put upon myself. So, for all this and more, to everyone I have offended in some way or another, and to myself… I am truly sorry.
Forgiveness. Why is it so hard for us to forgive? We want others to forgive us, but it always seems more difficult when we are on the other side. During my journey over the last few years, God has really worked on my heart towards other people. He has asked me to forgive others… even the ones who have really hurt me. He has asked me to let go of all the petty, insignificant issues that can cause strain within my relationships. Some people have been easy to forgive… some have been very difficult. The one that stares back at me from the mirror has been the hardest yet.
It is usually the most challenging to forgive those closest to us… our family, our inner circle of friends, our spouse…. Is it because they are the ones who have seen our true inner selves? They are the ones in whom we have placed our complete trust and confidence? They are the ones who are suppose to love us unconditionally and give us the crutch on which to lean when our desperate selves cry out for someone to help us. So when they hurt us or do something wrong, is the cut deeper? Is the wound more painful? Does it heal more slowly?
Why can’t we just let go? Let go of the anger, the frustration and the bitterness that fills the unforgiving heart? The unforgiven becomes the owner… to our emotions and our actions. We give up our own power and place it into the hands of another.
Forgiveness is a choice. It is not really about the other person, nor is it about the offense that was committed. It is about us. It is about Him. How can we be expect to be forgiven if we ourselves can not forgive? Oh, it may not be easy, but it is commanded. When we forgive, when we choose to forgive, we are truly free. No longer can the offender control our bitter hearts and frustrated emotions. We can begin to see others with grace, knowing that we are all very flawed people living in a very flawed world. We all make mistakes. We all need forgiveness.
~Forgiveness doesn’t make the other person right, it makes you free.~ (Stormie Omartian)
Life is difficult. We will encounter many hurts and disappointments as we travel down our individual paths, and many times we will be the offender. None of us are promised tomorrow. I know that sounds so cliche… yet it is so very true. Maybe it was my own near death experience last year… maybe it has taken me losing that which was closest to me… maybe it has been the numerous deaths I have discovered recently of people taken far too soon, thinking their journey still had many more twists, turns and hills ahead of them. But I want to forgive… I want to be forgiven.
Please do not get me wrong. I do not believe that we should just sweep everything under the rug. I do not believe we should let every issue be dismissed. There are times when accountability is needed as well as apologies. There are times when we need to turn away from the things that hurt the people in our lives, be courageous enough to swallow our pride and do what is right. We are to forgive, but sometimes the scars will not let us forget. May we remember however that repentance is not due to us as individuals… but rather to the Holy God we all have offended. At that moment… He offers us undeserved grace.
We are here, on God’s beautiful green and blue planet, for but a brief moment. Do we really have time to keep our hearts hardened? Can we not just lay aside our hurts, lay aside our pride, and forgive others so that we can experience the joy that freedom can bring? Our lives can change in an instant… may we not leave our journeys with unbestowed grace. There is so much beauty to be seen in the relationships that can be healed. May we each take that step into freedom.
Forgiveness
by Brenda Terrell
When a hurtful word is spoken Or an unkind deed is done I always must remember I am not the only one Who has ever been mistreated Stepped upon or pushed aside By thoughtless harmful actions Or selfish hateful pride.
The world is full of people Who purposely abuse Who lie and cheat and slander And manipulate and use Anyone and everyone Who might get in their way Of success or fame or power; No price too big to pay.
God’s word is clear and simple About what I must do When I have been offended By friend or foe’s misuse: “Forgive…and be forgiven” I dare not keep a score– Seventy times seven Times seven hundred more.
When I am unforgiving, The battle I’ll not win; For I need my Father’s mercy To blot out all my sin. Forgiving is not easy Yet I know it can be done: I look to Christ my Savior, The Holy, Sinless One.
When Jesus died upon the cross His words rang clear and true, “Father, please forgive them, For they know not what they do.” As the Precious Lamb of God Christ wants me to see: Forgiving is the power That sets my spirit free! Forgiveness is God’s wondrous gift That sets my spirit free!
May you find the beauty in today,
Tara ♥
“He has made everything beautiful in its time” (Ecclesiastes 3:11)
~ Leave me a comment, I would love to read YOUR thoughts~♥
Recent entries from my gratitude journal: (to read more about this, click here)
54. Forks in the road… requiring trust in a Sovereign God
that change forever how we experience life and the world.”
(Sarah Ban Breathnach)
Charis. Grace.
Eucharisteo. Thanksgiving.
Chara. Joy.
The God is Good!
One day a few weeks back, as I was driving alone in my car, I began to pray to God. It was a bit of a different prayer; out of the ordinary. As the scenery flickered passed me I became overwhelmed. The beauty of life was everywhere… so I began to speak it.
“Thank you Lord, for the beautiful day with the blue sky and sun shining brightly.
The God is good.
Thank you for birds flying above me and the geese swimming in the waters below.
The God is good.
My oldest, home from college, and my four children, once again under one roof.
The God is good.”
At this point, my eyes began to fill with tears as the smile widened across my face.
“The lungs are full of air, the heart has rhythm, the soul has an eternity…
Oh, the God is good.
There is love… so much love being felt! Peace that surrounds. Joy that flows.
And the God is good.
Prayers are still being prayed. Guidance is still being sought…
But The God is good.
Although there are bills unpaid and questions being asked…
The God is good.”
The tears began to stream down my face.
“Forks are in the road and hills are still being climbed…
But the GOD is Good!
Forgiveness… that word we want to receive but have a hard time expressing towards others… it is available for us all.
The GOD is Good!
The cross where the blood was shed.
The GOD is Good!
Grace. My daughter’s middle name; yet it has a meaning so much greater once realized how undeserved it is.
And the GOD IS GOOD!”
My prayer continued as well as the tears. I was overwhelmed by just how Good He is and how undeserving we are.
“All I have seen teaches me to trust the Creator for all I have not seen.”
(Ralph Waldo Emerson)
In the summer of 2009, I lost many things that were important to me. Since that time, I have learned how to be thankful for what I have. I have learned to not take those closest to me for granted, and how to cherish each and every day of this life I have been given. I can assure you… it was a tough, painful lesson. I now see things through opened eyes. I now am thankful for my very breath… along with each blessing that has been given to me by The Creator and those around me.
I recently read the book One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp; it is life changing. It has helped me to realize I can go even further still with my gratitude and thankfulness to God, even in the most mundane or difficult of circumstances.
I could not stop underlining the beautiful words she had written as they continued to jump off the page. Her poetic verse draws you into each of her stories as you experience them with her. You want to cry. You want to stop and savor the moment. You want to feel what her heart feels and experience that Eucharisteo that she feels.
Through her reflections you learn to be grateful in every situation… how to live fully right where you are. You learn to be thankful for the little things you so often overlook. You learn to live in the present. You begin to see just how good our God truly is.
You learn to find the beauty that is everywhere; the countless gifts that God has given for us to enjoy each and every moment of each and every day.
You begin to count them, numbering them in a journal. The numbers continue to increase, as does your heart; you realize just how much love is bestowed by This Creator.
“The one thousand presents wake me to the presence of God-but more so, living eucharisteo, living in thanks, had done the far harder work of keeping me awake to Him. I began to see that nothing I am counts for anything-but all that I count of Him counts for everything-seeing eyes might illuminate the glory of Christ in all.” (Ann Voskamp)
Your life becomes one of gratitude. You look for the gifts each day, anxiously awaiting that next number. You stop. You breath it in deeply. You live in that moment as you whisper the words of thanksgiving to the heavens above. Your eyes are opened; you see with new vision.
Oh, sweet friends… the God is good!
I so encourage you to read the book… it might just change your life.
So… from this point forward, at the bottom of each of my blog posts, I will share just a few of my recent numbered thankful entries from my journal. I hope it will inspire you to start your own!
“Give thanks in all circumstances;
for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”
(1 Thessalonians 5:18)
1. Full moon shining brightly through window panes in dark room while I rock baby late into the evening
11. Static electricity in blankets of winter’s heat
19. Hum of washing machine… filled with clothes
26. Seeing undiscovered world through baby’s fresh eyes
42. Flag proudly waving in cold winter’s breeze
May you find the beauty in today,
Tara ♥
“He has made everything beautiful in its time” (Ecclesiastes 3:11)
~ Leave me a comment, I would love to read YOUR thoughts~♥
I know, I know… you now have that old Tina Turner song playing in your head. Aside from that, I again ask the question: “What’s love got to do with it?”
In one simple word… Everything!
During the last few years, the main underlying concept that I have realized throughout my journey is just how much God loves us. Those are simple words to most; written on t-shirts and bumper stickers… spoken by preachers… sung in lyrics by musicians. But the meaning is so much deeper than we can possibly fathom.
His love is perfect.
His love is eternal.
His love is beautiful.
For so many years I ran from God, searching to find myself and my place in this world without Him. After all, I knew what was best for my life, right? But God was not about to let me go! He loved me enough to pursue me. He loved me enough to allow the pain and heartache that would eventually open my heart to His love. Once I did… my heart became flooded and overflowed into a river that surrounds my very being.
His love changed everything for me.
It changed everything for all of mankind.
John 15:13 states “Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.” (KJV) There are many heroes who have willingly laid down their lives for their friends… for their country… for the least of these. There are many tearful stories of this selfless love. These men and women should truly be honored and remembered.
But there is a greater Love… One who laid down His life for each of us. He was not our fellow man. He was not our equal. He was Jesus Christ. God in the flesh. Our Creator. The One who has been there from the beginning… from before the earth began to spin… from before time began to tick. The One who spoke us into existence… breathed life into our lungs and a soul into our lifeless bodies. The God of a universe so large and magnificent that we can’t even begin to comprehend… yet so personal that He chooses to live within us through His Spirit.
Yeah… He is the One who chose us.
Why?
Why did He do it? Why would the Creator of all willingly choose to leave perfection and paradise and come to this lowly, sinful earth to die a horrific, torturous death?
Love.
A love unimaginable.
There is nothing greater than the Love of The Creator…
That cross that changed everything.
It should be us dying for Him. We are the ones who choose to sin. We are the ones who choose to run and turn our backs. We are the ones who are selfish, hateful, arrogant, deceitful….
Yet He loves us anyway. He willingly chose to die in our place so that we would have the opportunity to live an eternity with Him.
He loves us enough to bless us with joy, no matter the circumstance… peace, though the hurricane waves continue… guidance, even through the fog… promises, entirely undeserved… pursuit, as we turn our backs and run….
I am overwhelmed by that Love; the Love of our Heavenly Father.
This Valentine’s Day, I pray you step away from the chocolates and candy hearts for just a bit… yes, you can take a few moments to stop and smell the roses (I know, bad joke), but may we not forget to remember the ultimate Lover of our souls… Jesus.
He will never leave us. He will never forsake us. He wants a relationship with us here on this earth, and for all of eternity… just don’t turn away. Don’t run… open your heart and let Him love you!
Happy Valentines Day to each of you. May you kiss your spouse deeply, hug your children tightly and take every opportunity to tell those special people in your life just how much you love them; never let the moment pass you by… life is too short!
Father’s Love Letter An Intimate Message From God To You.
My Child,
You may not know me,
but I know everything about you.
Psalm 139:1
I know when you sit down and when you rise up.
Psalm 139:2
I am familiar with all your ways.
Psalm 139:3
Even the very hairs on your head are numbered.
Matthew 10:29-31
For you were made in my image.
Genesis 1:27
In me you live and move and have your being.
Acts 17:28
For you are my offspring.
Acts 17:28
I knew you even before you were conceived.
Jeremiah 1:4-5
I chose you when I planned creation.
Ephesians 1:11-12
You were not a mistake,
for all your days are written in my book.
Psalm 139:15-16
I determined the exact time of your birth
and where you would live.
Acts 17:26
You are fearfully and wonderfully made.
Psalm 139:14
I knit you together in your mother’s womb.
Psalm 139:13
And brought you forth on the day you were born.
Psalm 71:6
I have been misrepresented
by those who don’t know me.
John 8:41-44
I am not distant and angry,
but am the complete expression of love.
1 John 4:16
And it is my desire to lavish my love on you.
1 John 3:1
Simply because you are my child
and I am your Father.
1 John 3:1
I offer you more than your earthly father ever could.
Matthew 7:11
For I am the perfect father.
Matthew 5:48
Every good gift that you receive comes from my hand.
James 1:17
For I am your provider and I meet all your needs.
Matthew 6:31-33
My plan for your future has always been filled with hope.
Jeremiah 29:11
Because I love you with an everlasting love.
Jeremiah 31:3
My thoughts toward you are countless
as the sand on the seashore.
Psalms 139:17-18
And I rejoice over you with singing.
Zephaniah 3:17
I will never stop doing good to you.
Jeremiah 32:40
For you are my treasured possession.
Exodus 19:5
I desire to establish you
with all my heart and all my soul.
Jeremiah 32:41
And I want to show you great and marvelous things.
Jeremiah 33:3
If you seek me with all your heart,
you will find me.
Deuteronomy 4:29
Delight in me and I will give you
the desires of your heart.
Psalm 37:4
For it is I who gave you those desires.
Philippians 2:13
I am able to do more for you
than you could possibly imagine.
Ephesians 3:20
For I am your greatest encourager.
2 Thessalonians 2:16-17
I am also the Father who comforts you
in all your troubles.
2 Corinthians 1:3-4
When you are brokenhearted,
I am close to you.
Psalm 34:18
As a shepherd carries a lamb,
I have carried you close to my heart.
Isaiah 40:11
One day I will wipe away
every tear from your eyes.
Revelation 21:3-4
And I’ll take away all the pain
you have suffered on this earth.
Revelation 21:3-4
I am your Father, and I love you
even as I love my son, Jesus.
John 17:23
For in Jesus, my love for you is revealed.
John 17:26
He is the exact representation of my being.
Hebrews 1:3
He came to demonstrate that I am for you,
not against you.
Romans 8:31
And to tell you that I am not counting your sins.
2 Corinthians 5:18-19
Jesus died so that you and I could be reconciled.
2 Corinthians 5:18-19
His death was the ultimate expression
of my love for you.
1 John 4:10
I gave up everything I loved
that I might gain your love.
Romans 8:31-32
If you receive the gift of my son Jesus,
you receive me.
1 John 2:23
And nothing will ever separate you
from my love again.
Romans 8:38-39
Come home and I’ll throw the biggest party
heaven has ever seen.
Luke 15:7
I have always been Father,
and will always be Father.
Ephesians 3:14-15
My question is…
Will you be my child?
John 1:12-13
I am waiting for you.
Luke 15:11-32 Love, Your Dad Almighty God
CONGRATULATIONS to Rachel Turner… winner of the Courageous movie dvd. (please message me your address and I will mail this out today!!) Thanks to everyone for reading and I appreciate the comments that were left!!
Oh, yeah… today is “Free Giveaway Day” as I was chosen this past week by Focus on the Family as the recipient of the newly released movie, Courageous, to be given away via my blog!! Whoohoo!! I am doing the happy dance!! (hopefully no one was looking)
~To be entered in the random drawing, please leave me a comment (at the end of this post). I would love to hear any stories about how the Courageous movie has affected your family or about a Courageous man you know! If you already own a copy of the movie, feel free to enter anyway and you can pay it forward to someone else! Contest ends at midnight on Tuesday, January 31, 2012. Be sure and check back that Wednesday morning, February 1, 2012, to see if your name was drawn!
Since I am giving away a movie that boldly speaks about the role of the father in a child’s life, I feel I once again need to address this issue. (Click here to read my previous post) Last year my daughter wrote her personal narrative on the pain she experienced as her father walked away from his marriage and family. My daughter’s writing was published in her high school’s Spectrum which is a 300+ page, bound publication of significant writings from that year. I sat down this week and began to read some of the other pieces that were submitted. I was shocked and brought to tears as I read story after story of how deeply affected so many of the teens had been due to their parent’ separations or divorces… most of them were angry and extremely hurt by their fathers; it seemed to be the underlying theme. Each life was shattered… each heart was broken… And there was my Savannah’s piece, right in the middle. Once again, her story brought me to tears as the scars began to bleed and I relived the painful memories and emotions through her words.
I am not posting the narrative that my daughter wrote. Although she did give me permission to do so, she insisted that the article in its entirety be allowed. However, I felt there were a few parts that were just too personal to share at this point in our journey… maybe a later date would be better. I am quoting just a few of her statements that will allow your heart to feel some of the agony that many children experience when a parent leaves the home and family.
A few tearful words from my teenage daughter:
“I felt the guilt of the broken family, even though I did nothing wrong. I began to believe no one could relate to me, I felt alone.”
“The day he left was the day my life became a living hell. A lonely, heart-wrenching, never ending journey.”
“The days dragged on; the months lengthened, the pain remained overwhelming. My school grades dropped; my athletic ability dragged; my body weakened. Life felt unbearable, and no matter how hard I tried, I could not shake the agony. Nothing I did or said would convince my father to come home, but I continued to long for my family, and for my parents’ love to rekindle.”
“I stopped answering my dad’s phone calls; I stopped sending him texts; I stopped seeing the face of betrayal”
“…I refused to be a statistic, but I became closer than I realized. 63% of youth suicides, 90% of all homeless and runaway children, 71% of all high school dropouts and 85% of all youths sitting in prisons grew up in a fatherless home. Because my father left I am 6.6 times more likely to become a teenage mother and 33 times more likely to be seriously abused. “
“The one who held me first when I came out of my mother’s womb, the one who raised me as a daddy’s girl, and lectured me on the evil ways of men. The same man that would kiss my forehead every night as he laid me down to bed, was once again, gone.”
Such sad words and frustrated emotions.
My poor daughter and sons…
The deep wounds and scars that will forever be a part of their lives…
The baggage they will now carry with them into their own marriages…
I posted her honest words with the hope of saving just one family… just one son or daughter. If you are a father or a mother who is entertaining thoughts of leaving or taking that next step towards an affair… just don’t do it! Turn around and run; don’t walk, run towards home. Have the courage to do what is right and fight for your spouse and your children. God is always right there with you. He will guide and strengthen you to become Courageous; full of character, integrity and honor!
There is such beauty when relationships are healed and families are restored; when we stand our ground, live out our roles and love our spouses and children with complete and self-sacrificing abandon… the way we are loved by our Almighty, Heavenly Father.
“It’s never too late or, in my case, too early to be whoever you want to be… I hope you live a life you’re proud of. If you find that you’re not, I hope you have the strength to start all over again.” ~Benjamin Button~
When you look in the mirror, who do you see? Yes, I know you see that same reflection staring back that you have seen for many years; maybe an aged, more mature version of that youthful face that once was. But look a little deeper; look into your heart and soul… who do you see?
Are you who you want to be?
There were many times in my life when I did not like who I was. Oh, how I wished I was prettier… if only my hair would lay perfectly without all the gels, sprays, straighteners and curling irons. If only my freckles were hidden so my complexion would be smooth and glowing. How I wished I could be funnier; if I could make people laugh more, or find the humor in the little things. How I wished I could be smarter, more organized, less of a perfectionist… more relaxed. But I have realized that those are the little things that make us individuals. What really counts is who we are in our hearts when it really matters. Can we look at ourselves in the mirror and be proud of that person staring back at us? Have we lived our lives with no regrets? Have we been intentional with our living… our loving… our caring? Have we allowed our past, our mistakes and our failures, to define who we are today?
It is never too late to be the person God created us to be. The refining process can be difficult and painful, as change does not come easily for some of us. It means giving up of our selfish desires to please our audience of One… Him… Our Creator. It takes time, and so much patience, which I am still trying to learn. It takes a willingness in our hearts to take that step… to realize how much our actions, our words and our choices affect not only those around us, but also our futures and our eternities. We may be 19, 41 or 65 and think that everything in our lives is just “fine”… but are we really just living behind the mask of what we want others to see? When we stop pretending… when we stop talking about “us”… when we stop showing the world our “perfect image” of what we want them to see and let the mask shatter on the floor beneath our feet… what is left? Are you proud of the “real”, raw person that stares back from that reflection?
Are you who you want to be?
Are you the Hero that your spouse and children need you to be? Are you the friend, child or sibling that you should be… the one they can be proud of?
We are starting a new year by the calendar, but any day we can choose to start a new life for ourselves; start a new life for our family… our friends. With much humility, and by the grace of our everlasting Father, we can choose to shatter our masks and admit we are human; that we are all flawed and have failures. We can choose to be the person we were created to be. We can love ourselves and others with His love, His grace and His forgiveness. We can be men and women of honor, integrity and character. We can make changes, say we are sorry, and live each day intentionally knowing none of us are promised tomorrow. We can be thankful to God for all the little blessings in our lives that He showers us with each and every day. We do not always have to be “right”; we do not always have to “make our point”. Maybe we could just stop and listen to others… hear their hearts. Maybe we should just be still and know that He is God. For those mistakes we have made, maybe today we should go make them right. Let go of the guilt… the past…. and strive each day to do what is right in God’s eyes.
Are you who you want to be?
Can you look in the mirror and see a streak-free reflection? Are you reflecting Christ? After all, we were created in His image… if He lives in us, shouldn’t others see Him through us? Are you the person He wants you to be? It is never too late to change. It is never too late to do what is right. It is never too late to become that man or woman that can one day stand before the almighty Creator and hear “Well done my good and faithful servant”. It is not always easy, but God can work wonders in our lives if we just give Him a willing heart and spirit, remove our pride, and let Him take the reigns. He can mold us into something so beautiful that we will shine brightly for His Glory despite our human flaws and mistakes. We can be that unmasked person that He wants us to be… that we want to be.
“So all of us who have had that veil removed can see and reflect the glory of the Lord. And the Lord—who is the Spirit—makes us more and more like him as we are changed into his glorious image.” ~2 Corinthians 3:18 NLT~
As we close this chapter of 2011 in the story of our lives, may we stand before our mirrors and take a deep look at the person staring back at us. May we not worry so much about our New Years’ resolutions to lose weight, work out more at the gym, or get organized. Instead, may be set our hearts and minds on more eternal things… may we strive to become that man or woman of God that He created us to be. May we be willing to make the tough decisions to change and do what is right. May we strive each day to look at a streak-free reflection and see a part of Him looking back at us.
I pray that we will all continue to see the many blessings from above as we enter into this new year of 2012… may they be “immeasurably more than all we could ask or imagine!” (Ephesians 3:20-21a)
May you find the beauty in today,
Tara ♥
“He has made everything beautiful in its time” (Ecclesiastes 3:11)
~ Leave me a comment, I would love to read YOUR thoughts~♥
When I was a child, I always wanted to play Mary in the school Christmas production. After all, I had long dark hair and dark eyes so I thought I perfectly fit the criteria to play the leading role. Unfortunately, I was never chosen. Even as an adult I longed to play Mary in the large Easter production at my church. However, it was a musical and since I am very musically challenged, once again the role of Mother Mary eluded me.
Have you ever stopped to think about Mary? Many Christians portray her as a saint; paintings show the brushstrokes of an almost angelic soul who was set apart from the others as a special being. Maybe I am wrong, but that is not the way I picture her. Most scholars say that Mary was between fourteen and sixteen years old when she gave birth to Jesus. My daughter is sixteen… long brown hair with dark eyes. Just an innocent girl, not sure of her future; that is how I picture Mary. I know an angel appeared to her to explain the whole situation and all… but did she truly understand what was happening to her? Did she truly comprehend that the precious life growing inside of her would be the Savior of all mankind?
This past spring, two of my teenagers had the privilege of portraying townspeople in the Easter production at our church. I had not been to any of the previous rehearsals as I was nine months pregnant with my fourth child. However, one evening, just two days before going into labor, I found myself sitting in the back of our sanctuary watching the actors run through the first few scenes. The production started before the birth of Christ and continued through His life, death and resurrection.
As I sat there alone in the darkness watching the stage, I became overwhelmed. There were no costumes, no make up, no audience… but the actress that portrayed Mary began to sing the song “Breath of Heaven” in her beautiful voice, and very quickly the tears welled up and overfilled my eyes.
I was looking through the eyes of Mary.
For a few moments, it seemed as if no one was in the room but me and my unborn baby. I quietly sobbed as I felt the life within me move; my own miracle child. For the first time, I was able to grasp that scene as if it was really happening to me.
Our sweet Mary… was she scared? I know I was, and I was getting ready to birth child number four.
Was she tired from her long journey on the back of that donkey? I was exhausted; I had driven my car to work that day and I was so ready for a nap.
Did she have the anxieties that every new mother has? Was she prepared for that overwhelming emotion she would feel as Joseph placed that beautiful newborn baby in her arms for the first time? Did she feel inadequate to be chosen to raise God’s one and only son?
I tried to stop the tears… but I just couldn’t; I continued to envision what Mary endured as she gave birth. I am sure most of you reading this story have either given birth yourselves or you have experienced it with someone you love. It is beautiful in its own right… but it is also gross, messy and difficult. We live in a world today that caters so much to the mother in labor that everything else around her seems to stop and her every need is met immediately. For Mary… she was in a small, dirty stable. She was surrounded by the smells, sights and noises of the animals that sheltered around her. The straw was uncomfortable, itchy… bothersome.
And her beloved Joseph? Did he have the right words to help comfort her? Were his palms sweaty as Mary held tightly through each contraction with the mounting anticipation and pain?
Did the tears stream down her face when she finally heard the cry… His first breath of life?
Did she breathe Him in like we mothers do with our newborn babies? Holding them to our chests just doesn’t seem close enough… after carrying them inside for nine months we don’t want to let go.
The Bible says Mary pondered these things in her heart… oh, I bet she didn’t miss a moment. The skin so soft and delicate; the sweet eyes trying so hard to focus on the light and new objects they were seeing for the first time…. The love she felt as she cradled the fragile life in her arms. As she later watched her son unjustly die on that cross, did she remember those moments, those thoughts she had pondered on the day of His birth? As she endured the flesh being torn from His body, did she remember the delicate, newborn skin she once tenderly kissed?
Oh, our sweet Mary…. She was just a teenager who was entrusted with the Savior. She had the greatest privilege of feeling the new life stir within her and giving birth to the miracle child… but she also had the greatest agony of watching Him later tortured and nailed to a cross to take away the sins He never committed.
I think we have heard the Christmas story so many times over the years that we have become desensitized to the emotion that played out during it. We sing the songs, we know the main characters… we have the manger scenes helping to decorate our homes. Yes, we remember that Jesus is the reason for the season as it appears on emails, on Facebook status updates and written on the Christmas cards… but do we really take the time to sit and ponder the details? Have we ever stopped to imagine the reality of what took place that one night in Bethlehem so many years ago?
This Christmas, I pray that we will take a few moments out of our busy schedules, close our eyes, and place ourselves in the story. I pray that we will see Mary or Joseph through our own eyes… that we will hear the sounds… envision the scenery… inhale the smells. For a few brief seconds, may we ponder the realism that Mary and Joseph felt as that evening unfolded. May we remember the willingness of our Heavenly Father to choose this path… to choose to enter this world as an innocent baby, completely reliant on a young, inexperienced, earthly mother and father, so that you and I could spend an eternity in the Heavenly realms with Him.
I hope we will remember this beautiful story not just as words in a book, but rather as emotion in our hearts, because this one birthing experience brought forth the Savior for us all!
May you find the beauty in today,
Tara ♥
“He has made everything beautiful in its time” (Ecclesiastes 3:11)
~ Leave me a comment, I would love to read YOUR thoughts~♥
On March 11, 2011… I almost died. It was a beautiful day as I welcomed Sweet Baby Isaac into our family. With this being child number four, I thought giving birth would be a piece of cake. I had even remarked that if I got to the hospital and there was no time for an epidural, I was going au natural. Thank you Lord for a longer labor that caused that precious anesthesiologist to enter into my birthing experience!
Shortly after a very difficult delivery, my vitals began to crash. As my room swarmed with doctors and nurses trying to save me, I knew something was very wrong. I heard the words, “don’t know what is causing it”… “she should not be alert with vitals this low”… “give her another shot of epinephrin.” I knew I was dying and they could not figure out why. It felt like a scene from an old ER episode as I began to draw into myself with a bustle of activity around me. Seriously? Was this really happening to me? I remember tears welling up in my eyes. What about my children? What about the innocent, newborn baby I had only held once in my arms? Everything was happening so quickly. I began praying, pleading, “Oh God, please help me.” Still nothing. The doctors were losing… my body was tingling… I was scared. I looked up towards heaven (aka the white hospital ceiling), closed my eyes, and as tears rolled down my cheeks I silently whispered to God these words of sweet surrender: “I do not believe you have brought me this far [into my journey] to take me away now… I trust You.” I can not explain it, but at that moment a peace came over me like never before. A warmth rushed through my body and my blood pressure and heart rate began to rise to a more stable level.
My scare was not over as the following morning I was rushed into exploratory surgery, given a blood transfusion, and received a painful abdominal incision that would require a much longer recovery time. It was a small price to pay to later be surrounded by my precious family and once again enjoy the tender moments with my newborn baby. I now realize more than ever that life is priceless… a true gift from God.
You see, there was a time in my past when I hated my life. Don’t get me wrong, I loved my family and friends, but I truly hated my so called “life.” Nothing was being given to me on a silver platter. People were letting me down… especially those closest to me. Things were not going according to plan. The fairy tale I had envisioned while growing up just was not playing into my reality. My prince charming was flawed, my castle… well, lets just say it was not picturesque, and my happily ever after was nowhere to be found. It hit me hard; it caused me to be selfish, depressed and ungrateful. Oh, the days I wished away… the months and years I spent “longing” for that “something better.” I forgot to enjoy the moment. Time quickly passed by me and the children grew. My life continued, but I forgot to live. There are many regrets….
My journey has taken me down this path where I now get up each morning thanking God for another day… and truly meaning it with a sincere heart. I have always loved the movie Hook. In it, Peter Pan (played by Robin Williams) is an older, tired, unhappy man who finds himself back in Neverland. After realizing he is the “real Peter Pan,” and almost losing his most precious treasures, his children, he returns to England with a new perspective on what is really important in his life. He realizes he no longer needs Neverland nor the adventures it offers… but that just to live, in itself, would be an awfully big adventure. Why does it always seem to take losing something we love for us realize what is really important?
Life… is beautiful!
May each day we stop and thank God for our very breath that He holds in His hands. May we thank Him for this gift of life that we have been given… for both the joy and the pain. May we live and love intentionally… with purpose. May we never let a moment pass by us. May we seize every opportunity to extend forgiveness and grace… to say the words “I love you” that so many long to hear. None of us are promised tomorrow. May we learn to enjoy the journey that is today.
It’s the Journey that’s Important… (by John McLeod)
Life, sometimes so wearying Is worth its weight in gold The experience of traveling Lends a wisdom that is old Beyond our ‘living memory’ A softly spoken prayer: “It’s the journey that’s important, Not the getting there!”
Ins and outs and ups and downs Life’s road meanders aimlessly? Or so it seems, but somehow Leads us where we need to be, And being simply human We oft question and compare…. “Is the journey so important Or the getting there?”
And thus it’s always been That question pondered down the ages By simple men with simple ways To wise and ancient sages…. How sweet then, quietly knowing Reaching destination fair: “It’s the journey that’s important, Not the getting there!”
Here are just a few of my many thanks to God during this wonderful Thanksgiving season:
Dalen, my first born pride… Savannah, my beautiful and only daughter… Cameron, who lights up my life… Isaac, my promised gift from God… my husband, who is many miles away… my family, who loves and supports me… my friends, especially those who are walking along this journey with me… forgiveness, from God and others… love, unconditional… joy and happiness, despite the circumstances… rainbows, God’s promises… second chances, even undeserved… healing, for Nothing is impossible… my home, so graciously given… God’s sovereignty, despite my lack of understanding… kitties, that are loyal… Puppy, a fluff ball of energy… laughter, that echoes through our walls… hugs from my children, even if the door is later slammed… baby skin, so soft and tender… the roller coaster ride, its ups and downs… opportunities, when seized… today, the priceless moment… Jesus, our Savior!
Thank you God… my cup runneth over!
Hoping you have a wonderful Thanksgiving with your family and friends! Many blessings to all!
May you find the beauty in today,
Tara ♥
“He has made everything beautiful in its time” (Ecclesiastes 3:11)
~ Leave me a comment, I would love to read YOUR thoughts~♥
I do not have a green thumb. Oh how I love fresh, beautiful plants and flowers; they just never seem to last very long under my care. I try, really I do. I have every intention of watering them, giving them adequate sunlight and getting the miracle-grow potting soil. But for some reason, I never seem to remember to do “something”… and then, sadly, another one makes its way to the trash with my insistent thought, “I’ll do better next time”.
So here I am, yet again. When my youngest son was born this past March, I was given a cute little basket with a mixture of beautiful plants inside. “Okay,” I thought, “here is my chance to redeem myself.” I put the plant on the window sill of the baby’s bedroom so it would get plenty of light. I watered it… when I remembered. I saw it sitting there many times; I knew needed to take better care of it… maybe water it a little more often, rotate it a bit to allow more sunlight on the other side… but I was usually busy with the baby and figured I would get to it later.
Well…. later never came, and after 5 months, the plant completely dried up and was ready to move to the great beyond, as there was very little hope of any surviving life. But I felt bad. This was a gift that I had neglected; unintentionally perhaps, yet I did let it die under my care. On the way to the trash, I instead decided to move the plant into my bathroom (so I could remember to water it) and try just one more time. I gave the plant a good flooding of cool, clean water and left it sitting there. Several days later, I gave it a little more. After some time, I noticed some new green shoots coming up from amidst the dried, shriveled leaves. It was beautiful! I got so excited as I watched this plant over the next few weeks… it was coming back to life!!! (Can you imagine my happy dance?)
Look! I even took a picture!!
I think God gave me this little treasure as a remembrance to never give up; anything can be made new again. Relationships, marriages, friendships… they may seem dead on the surface; withered, with no hope of survival. But God has a cool, clean water that can bring anything back to life! Too many times we have neglected a person or relationship in our lives; maybe more was expected of us than we wanted to give, or maybe we just did not have the time or energy to invest the care that was needed to continue to cultivate it. We meant to pour ourselves into the other, but we got distracted, busy with life… so the relationship dried up and died.
Isaiah 43:19 says, “See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland.”
I have one particular relationship in my life that I have earnestly been praying for God to heal for a long time… years, in fact. On the surface, it seems dead; everyone around me would say it was time to bury it and move on. But I will never give up! It does not matter how hopeless it may seem on the outside, how many dried leaves are falling off the branches… with God, nothing is impossible (Luke 1:37). So I will continue to pray, continue to water and keep watch everyday for that new green sprig to surface… the sign of new life beginning!
“And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up.” (Galations 6:9 ESV)
What do you have in your life that seems hopeless, dead or beyond repair? What requests have you taken to God that just seem to have fallen upon deaf ears? May I encourage you today: Never, ever give up!! God is a miracle working God! He hears you… He knows! Just continue to pray… just continue to seek Him… just continue to trust that He knows what He is doing! Our prayers may not always be answered exactly the way we want them to be, but God can make a way in the desert… He can heal any broken or strained relationship… He can perform miracles in each of our lives, sometimes instantly, sometimes after a long journey.
Just keep watering, keep watching and never give up! One day, you might just see that beautiful, new green leaf in your seemingly “hopeless” situation!
May you find the beauty in today,
Tara ♥
“He has made everything beautiful in its time” (Ecclesiastes 3:11)
~ Leave me a comment, I would love to read YOUR thoughts~♥
“Behind every beautiful thing, there’s some kind of pain.” (Bob Dylan)
It has been a rough week here at our house… Sweet baby Isaac has been cutting his third tooth. It can be very difficult during this time as he just wants mama, especially at night. But I do not mind at all… there is no place I would rather be than wrapped up in a blanket with my baby, either on the front porch swing or in the glider as I try to comfort him during this painful process. After all, these moments pass all too quickly….
A few nights ago as I was trying to soothe my baby back to sleep I walked past a large mirror and glanced at his angelic face. There he was… eyes red and puffy from crying, head resting on my shoulder and arms holding tightly onto me. It was the most tender moment as I realized just how much being in the arms of mommy was comforting to him. His gums were still inflamed and swollen, but just being there with me somehow made it all better.
Life can be very painful… let’s face it, sometimes it can just stink. There are times when we create our own problems (hmmm… my list is a mile long) and there are also times we have to suffer through adversity and trials due to others’ choices and mistakes. Either way… pain is pain. Heartache, disappointment and loss can cut through our hearts to the very depths of our souls; they can leave very deep wounds that never seem to heal. During this time, we too have a shoulder to rest our head… we have open arms just wanting to hold us… we have a Heavenly Father just waiting to dry our tears.
The problem is that many of us will turn to God when we experience heartache and confusion in our lives, but we expect Him to quickly heal us and fix our problems. When that does not happen quickly enough for us, we get mad… frustrated… sometimes we walk away and search for our own solutions. We live in a day and age when everything is immediate… we want it yesterday. We live with microwave ovens, over-night package delivery and drive thru restaurants… so we expect our answers from God to be along these same speedy lines. Sometimes the pain in our lives is necessary to help mold us into the people God wants us to be… character and integrity require various trials and situations before they take shape within our beings… patience and perseverance usually take a long time to instill (which sounds like an oxymoron to me!). Sometimes the pain is a good thing… it can mold and refine us… it can draw us close to Him so that we learn trust and faithfulness… so we can learn more about who He is and just how much He loves us!
You see, Baby Isaac’s teething is also very necessary! One day he will use those pearly whites to enjoy the finest cut of steak or succulent, juicy ribs… this temporary pain will later allow him to savor some of the most wonderful delicacies. So I hold my baby tightly through the tears, offering him so much love and comfort… He knows mommy is always there. He knows mommy’s arms are always open ready to surround him, even long after the pain passes.
There are times when we just don’t understand God… when we just don’t understand why we have to experience these tough, heartbreaking moments in our lives. But through it all, God promises to be there for us. He may not immediately change our situation or instantly heal every wound, but He is there with open arms just waiting to hold us until the pain eases… He will continue to hold us, even long after it is gone. He just wants us to rest our tear stained faces upon His shoulder and cling tightly to Him. There is nothing more beautiful than being surrounded by His love and comfort.
May you find the beauty in today,
Tara ♥
“He has made everything beautiful in its time” (Ecclesiastes 3:11)
~ Leave me a comment, I would love to read YOUR thoughts~♥
